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Mido

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MidoEdit

Ahmed Hossam Hussein Abdelhamid or Mido (born 23 February 1983) is a mutinous Egyptian striker who scores on his debut, gets injured, becomes unsettled and moves on. This pattern repeats annually.

AjaxEdit

Mido got his big break at Dutch side Ajax. However, after a productive spell he suffered a number of injuries, fell out with coach Ronaldo Koeman who ‘looked at him funny sometimes’ and left for Marseille.

MarseilleEdit

At Marseille, the lanky goal-getter made a great first impression, but was caught speeding, fell out with teammates, stubbed his toe and decided to move to Roma.

RomaEdit

Mido’s enthusiasm for Italian football dwindled after he suffered a series of injuries, ‘didn’t much like the language and got a bit sick of pasta’.

TottenhamEdit

At Tottenham, Mido initially became popular in a loan period when he scored twice on his debut and his form in 2005-06 was impressive. But he slipped down to pecking order, slagged off fellow players, felt a bit ill and asked to leave.

MiddlesbroughEdit

Mido scored on his debut for Middlesbrough but he got injured a lot, took against his teammates, felt cold all the time and eventually left.

WiganEdit

The volatile striker scored on his Wigan debut against Liverpool. But he is currently injured and has hinted that he wants a fresh start somewhere else.

EgyptEdit

Like a lot of players with dickheadish tendencies, Mido has a strained relationship with his national side. He often says he can’t play for Egypt because he “feels a bit off” or “has a bad feeling about this one.”

At the 2006 African Cup Of Nations held in Egypt, Mido inexplicably opted out of glory. Angry at being substituted in the semi-final, he argued with coach Hassan Shehata and had to watch his countrymen triumph on penalties in the final from the stands.

He really is a sorry specimen.

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