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Neil Warnock (born 1 December 1948) is a former player, manager and part time nut.

Playing CareerEdit

Neil Warnock was, to put it nicely, a shit player. His only success came when he won Player of the Year in 1972 at Notts County which is barely anything.

Managerial CareerEdit

Neil Warnock was, to put it nicely, a shit manager. Actually that's a bit harsh. He wasn't that bad but he seems destined to forever manage dead end clubs. In his current role as manager of Crystal Palace there is the combination of a manager and a club who deserve one another. Similar could be said of Palace chairman Simon Jordan.

Anti-Referee CareerEdit

Warnock once made that outrageous claim that every referee that has ever officiated his matches was "utter dogs bollocks".

His hatred towards referee's actually goes back to his childhood where his father, a alcoholic, decided to sort his life out and begin running the line at Warnock's school games. Warnock's father thought he'd keep his son on his toes by consistently flagging for offside whenever Warnock got the ball.

This continued for many years, mainly because Warnock had to retake his O-Levels no less than five times but once he had that elusive G grade, he could continue his footballing career. Luckily for him, he had very few incidents with referee's during his playing days - being banned only once for knocking a fourth official out and a restraining order on only three referees.

But it was during his time as a manager that his passionate hatred came into full force. Time after time he claimed referee's all over the land were out to get him. Research has shown that actually each referee had merely given a throw in to the opposing side.

While managing Crystal Palace, he watched his horror as his nightmares came back to haunt him. Freddie Sears had somehow managed to score (I did have to check this on numerous websites - I couldn't believe it either) a perfectly acceptable and clear goal. However the officials denied the goal claiming there was a foul in the build up to it (erm no you tit the Referee didn't see the ball go over the line). Warnock was shocked and in true Warnock fashion went "fucking mental" at the fourth official. But who was the referee that disallowed the goal? None other than Neil Warnock's father.

AnagramEdit

A great quality Neil Warnock possess is that by taking the letters to form 'Colin' from his name the rest can be rearranged into a word that many fans feel perfectly describes the man. Hence he is often known by fans as 'Colin' as a short of shorthand.

Anti-Tevez CareerEdit

It's widely known that Warnock hates Carlos Tevez with a passion. Some say that it's due to the fact he kept West ham United up single handedly while Sheffield United suffered and were relegated. The more likely story is that Carlos slept with Neil's sister and wife. At the same time.

Music CareerEdit

Rumours circulating the internet suggest Warnock has teamed up with the legendary Rob Hulse to form a progressive death metal band. A live album is also in the pipeline.

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